Thursday, December 11, 2008

Euphemisms abound

As I watch our elected representatives flop around on what to do about all the emergencies one thing stands out, the use of euphemisms . One striking example is the term "stakeholders" in the current auto bailout debate. Everyone and his mother gets mentioned by Congrss except the big elephant in the room. . My friend at Planet Moron puts it best: (note: when you think about the dog Rex, think Unions.

Stakeholders consist of two groups:

1) People who own the company.
2) People who do not.

For instance, let’s say you wanted to refinance the mortgage on your house. Your “stakeholders” would include, in addition to you and your spouse, your mortgage company, all your neighbors, the guy who mows your lawn, the county government, the local school district and your dogs.

All you need to do to refinance is to get all these stakeholders, who will at times have opposing interests, to come to an agreement on the specific terms. (Hint: Your dogs’ demand for more squeaky toys is non-negotiable. "I can't go back to my people with this," Rex will say.)

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